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i like the thought of this entry. it touches me. after being so angry with my daughter last night — this post seem to speak directly to me that i can do well in my mommying my kid even if she is growing up.
thanks for sharing.
Some comments deserve a whole post devoted to them alone, and Arlene's comment on the front page of this blog is one of them.
Her comment struck a chord with me because as my kids get older I find myself struggling, sometimes with a deep sadness of times gone by.
Sometimes feeling as if it's "over". That the best years were yesterday, the years when I was the "star" – I really warmed up to it 
.
The years when I could get a hug, and a kiss (on the lips!) anytime I wanted. The years when time with my treasures seemed unending – some days more than others.
A hidden fear that the time when I had the most influence and my chance to equip them with the life skills that they will need is gone. The fear that I could have done better.
But the truth is, I have found that as they get older, in many ways they need me more. They may not show it, as a matter of fact, they do their best not to show it.
But I find them looking to me for support… for freedom… and boundaries… for leadership and for my confidence in them and for confirmation of their skills and abilities as they forge their way into their own life ahead… towards independence – as they never did when they where younger.
Back then they just wanted their sippy cup and a story :0)
Now they want the car keys.
Only this morning, I went up to tell my youngest who is 10 that it was a snow day, no school. I stopped on my way by into my oldest daughter's room to peek in. She was still sleeping, buried under covers, with various girl stuff strewn around her room.
I almost left without much thought, but then I paused. And just enjoyed being there. Then my son woke up and I could hear him and his friend who stayed over talking in the next room. (not the donut licker gone wild, it was the spider sandwich eater, that's a whole different story!)
I made a mental note of every nuance, so that I would have it on the day coming when I treck up the stairs for one thing or the other, and that I stand there in silence, in an empty room. It will be here too soon.
The funny thing is that when I really looked at today, that moment, I felt really good.
It felt instead of sad… like somehow we had arrived. Echoes of the babies and children that they once were still hovered in the shadows.
But it felt like life itself had paused for just that moment and all that existed was them. I breathed and just stood there, feeling the air around me, listening to the sound of my daughters breathing and my son talking. And realizing at that moment that they were still "me", only better.
They don't hang on my pant leg anymore, they don't interrupt me every 2 minutes (we're up to 5 now!)
They are in the world. They have friends. They have talents. They are not afraid to live. They embrace life and look to the future.
Over the years I had given them something, as they had given me.
And yes Arlene, there are absolutely still a lot of good years left. We will always be "the Mom".
In many ways, we're just getting started.
And I'm looking forward to grandchildren.
Someday.
(I will never forget the scene in the movie "Blast from the Past" when Sissy Spacek comes up on the lift and tells the guy "I am the Mother". If you saw the movie you will probably remember the scene. Cracked me up.)
Thanks Arlene for inspiring me to put into words things that I have been feeling ever since my kids started growing up, up and away. The real kicker will be if I'm blogging here 10 years from now wondering when they are going to be getting their own place. 
Here is a blog listing of other's thoughts on their kids growing up (and themselves).
Here is a poem that I wrote for my kids shortly after my youngest daughter was born in 1998.
BABY KISSES
Sweet
Cookie filled mouth.
Crumbly slobber.
Perfect
rosebud, cherub
lips on mine.
Heaven
for a very short time.
For All of My Babies
Love Your Mama
