Simple Pleasures – my confession of dishes undone
 |
One of my favourite things these days is waking up and walking into my kitchen.
The first thing I notice is the calm and peaceful feeling I get. I usually take a deep breath and just soak it up.
Then I turn on the kettle and get a clean cup. This is the icing on the cake. I hate washing a cup for my morning tea (or coffee, I've cut way back and find I prefer tea most of the time now).
It hasn't always been this way.
I almost never used to have my dishes washed before I went to bed. I was usually tired and just didn't like doing them at night.
Especially before I had a dishwasher – I highly recommend it.
I remember spending most mornings at the sink washing dishes.
And I had to wash a cup almost every morning before I was even awake for coffee. Looking around and feeling defeated before the day even started by the mess and the knowing that my first task of the day would be dishes.
On busy days, I sometimes didn't even get to them first thing, they would sit there, mocking me and making me feel worse.
If I was really busy and didn't get them done before supper time… well you can guess how fun that was.
And I hate to even think about how it impacted the kids.
In ways that I, or they didn't even realize – the KAOS – the example I was setting – the mere fact that they couldn't find counter space for a snack.
What does something like that do to an impressionable mind. How does it affect their feeling about themselves. Their sense of security? What they perceive as normal. Or not normal.
It's something to think about, even if dishes seem a trivial thing.
IT SEEMS LIKE A DISTANT MEMORY NOW
The difference is the deal that I have made with myself.
Before I go to bed, I make sure that the kitchen is clean – most nights it is part of my routine to do it after we eat so there are no eyeball prying kitchen cleaning sessions going on at bedtime – I don't like that either!
My daughter has been washing the dishes as part of her chores too, that has helped a lot.
Either way, the kitchen is presentable and the dishwasher running before I go to bed.
The payback in the morning is worth it a thousand times over.
How about you?
Is having your dishes finished before you go to bed a non negotiable for you?
Do you wake up to peace, or do you wake up to KAOS?
If you and your family are waking up to KAOS, there are a few things you can do right now.
Make a non negotiable deal with yourself that you will no longer tolerate dirty dishes before a cut off time.
For me it's generally 9:00, that gives me time to clean up anything if I have to, but it's best to get in the habit of cleaning up after supper.
Set yourself up for success. Be sure that the dishwasher is empty of clean dishes before supper so that everyone can easily load their own dishes.
Make a rule that everyone takes turns helping to clean up, or that everyone helps wash the dishes every night, which ever works best.
The benefit of taking turns is that you get some one on one time.
The benefit of everyone helping is that is takes less time and creates a feeling of the family as a team. The advantages are that you are instilling good habits and responsibility on your children, no one has to look at the mess every morning, and you don't need to do it all yourself.
Either way, you are getting some quality family time, even if most of the family doesn't know it :0)
If you haven't been in the habit of getting your kids to help, it's time to start. That was my number one mistake when my kids were younger.
Despite many good parenting courses, I just didn't get the idea that they needed to learn responsibility, cooperation, and to develop good habits for themselves. This made is much more difficult later as well.
Another benefit to keeping the dishes caught up – you realize when someone is leaving their dirty dishes around or on the counter. So you can be on top of it and get them in the habit of cleaning up after themselves. This is half the battle.
You can read more about How to Cut Down on Dirty Dishes in our article directory.
Born Famous did a blog post about the benefits of keeping the dishes washed and a few more tips about how to do it.
I had forgotten about the other good reason that she mentions – you can cook when every you want. I well remember cleaning the kitchen with intentions to bake or cook, but there was no time by the time I finished cleaning up – it's a sad way to live – and so unnecessary.
ACTION TIPS
Decide to decide…
- not to let dirty dishes run (and ruin) your kitchen.
- to wake up in peace every morning.
- to have the ability to cook when every you want without cleaning up first.
That means making cleaning up the dishes every night a non negotiable with yourself, even if you don't necessarily do them by yourself.
Make a plan. A few ground rules…
- Always empty the dishwasher if you have one as soon as possible after they are clean. This will be either at night or before the kids eat their breakfast. You can do it while they eat their breakfast and chat.
- Get the family involved. Make clean up time after supper a rule, rotate or get everyone one to help.
OR
- Make it a regular chore item. My oldest daughter gets a check mark when ever she does the dishes. After she gets 12 check marks she gets $10. I think that's a pretty good deal, for her and for me.
If you have everyone helping, you can use the checkmark chore for something else, another benefit to getting in the habit of making it a family thing.
Bottomline – set up a system – do what ever it takes to get the dishes out of the way using a method that you can maintain.
You will spend the first little while getting used to it and remembering to do it. But after awhile it will come naturally and you will wonder how you ever managed with all of the dirty dishes around before.
I have found Carol Pagan's ebook called Secret Confessions of a Clean Freak to be very helpful. It's a book that I refer back to often (as are all of her ebooks, I have them all).
She really does make it as easy as those darn clean freaks make it look, bless her heart. 
19 Responses to “Simple Pleasures – my confession of dishes undone”
Comments
Read below or add a comment...
What Do You Think?
We learned to do dishes as kids and in general I try to keep my sink clean. One of the things that keeps my sink dirty is not unloading the dishwasher…I sometimes let dishes sit in the sink if I still have clean dishes in the dishwasher.
By the way, in college I had several roommates who never did dishes and would just let them pile up and eventually start to smell really bad. I’m wondering if their parents didn’t teach them good habits at home.
I too hate dirty dishes. At any time.
When I was a young housewife, I’d stack dirty dishes anywhere out of sight. Then, when I ran out, I’d do a marathon of dish washing.
That was a long time ago of course.
Now that I’m older, it’s rare that dirty dishes aren’t done or tucked away in the dishwasher.
Because to me, waking up in the morning knowing I can’t relax into my day. Waking up to see that I have to, at some point, get to those dishes. Ruins my mornings and starts the day off on a negative note.
It’s an easy habit to get into really. You make a pact with yourself that no matter how tired you are, no matter how late it is, you don’t go to bed leaving dirty dishes to sully your coming new day.
I admire your discipline, Jan.
Thank you for sharing.
Colby, it seems to me that keeping the dishwasher unloaded is half the battle – and turning it on!
I really don’t know for sure about the parenting connection – I grew up in a home where my step mom was militant about cleaning, there was never anything out of place anywhere. But I may have rebelled against that the first years when I lived on my own – or just had a mess out of sheer relief from the pressure of having to watch my every move.
Looking back, I see were she was coming from, but had she taught us the structure behind it all, I think I would have been much more receptive and would also have had a much better idea of what to do when I grew up. But to be honest, I don’t think she knew herself that she was using systems etc – it just came naturally to her – as well as delegating – which I struggle with as well – in part because we were always on the receiving end.
Something to think about for parents out there trying to teach their kids to keep to the habits when they grow up.
Cat, I agree. I think that the best way to get into a habit is to be sure not to be trying to do too many new ones at once. If you do them a step at a time, in time it is easy.
Before I had a dishwasher, I read about a trick to keep a small bin under the sink to put any stray dishes in until you did them. I thought it was a good idea, as long as the dishes are done regularly and not forgotten! I guess the keyword there is small :0)
Thanks Raymond, it doesn’t come naturally for me :0) But I find that it is easier than dealing with the consequences if I am not.
It’s an ongoing battle though, sometimes I’m more successful than others. Each time I let things slide, I see again how important it is and how well it works. And how much easier life is with systems and self discipline.
I see, something like the association of Pain and Pleasure (Anthony Robbins)
I never thought of it that way, but thats exactly it!
I really like Anthony Robbins, he was on of the first “gurus” that I ever read. You reminded me that I should dig out some of his books I’ve got here. Always interesting reading.
Yes, almost 99% of the time, the kitchen must be cleaned up before going to bed. When my MIL is here, not only is it cleaned up, but the dishes are dried and put away. So not only do I have a clean kitchen, but an empty dish drainer. Otherwise, my rule is that everything must be put away – clean dishes, dirty dishes, etc. – before cooking. That way clean up during the cooking is much easier.
Yeah, like Colby, it’s the failure to empty the dishwasher that creates the pile up of dishes in my sink.
A good trick is to time yourself when you put them away.
I generally takes me under 5 minutes. When you put it that way, it’s easier to just commit 5 minutes to putting the dishes away, it really doesn’t take the 1/2 hour that it seems sometimes :0)
Another thing is to get someone to help, depending on where your dishwasher is, you can form something like a bucket brigade, it goes much quicker because there are less steps.
I do something like that to fill it sometimes too.
My dishwasher is at a funny place on the other side of my counter, so I rinse or put dishes on the counter to the right of the sink and my daughter takes loads them into the dishwasher from there rather than having anyone have to walk around the corner of the counter to load them (sounds funny but the dishwasher is central to the sink and table this way, our counter runs in the middle of a longer/narrow kitchen)
I agree, it’s a wonderful feeling to wake up to a clean sink! This reminds me of Flylady’s “shine your sink”, and the fact that once your kitchen goes (gets messy), then the rest of your house becomes out of control, too.
I also agree with Raymond on the Tony Robbins hook-up re: pain vs. pleasure.
Enjoy your clean sink tomorrow morning!
I think that flylady has said that there is a “shiny sink” in every room, I absolutely believe that too.
It seems to be the “action” area – in your office it would be your desk, in the bedroom, the bed, in the livingroom, the couch. These areas seem to be the the place that give peace first and motivate to do more.
In my kitchen I find the biggest influence on the house as a whole is the top of my dishwasher because that is where I keep my BOOST Circuit sheet.
If that area is messy, I don’t see the sheet and I am more likely not to do it or to stick with my habits because it serves as a reminder and even a boost of confidence because I know that if I do what it says, things are so much better.
Wonderful post. Being a FlyLady dropout (way too many emails) the one thing that stuck is keeping the “shiny sink” and it’s amazing how much easier things run during the day when the sink is empty.
My son is supposed to do the dishes every night. There are nights when things get busy and he doesn’t and if mom is tired and just goes up to bed, ughhh the next morning. So nice to wake up to a clean coffee cup. Now I just need to get in the habit of filling the coffee pot and setting it to start too. Great post thanks.
This was one of my NEw YEar’s GOals. I have cleaned up my kitchen for 13 nights straight and then guess what?? I didn’t do it last night and the sink is full of dishes and it makes me feel horrible.
I was sooo tired though and had been having computer trouble. I WILL DO better !
Another benefit of getting the entire family involved with daily chores is that now I actually have time to write!
I found the flylady system too complicated for me (I need simple with a capital S :0) but I did learn the benefit of using a system consistently from her.
I wish I drank perked coffee just so that I could set my coffee maker too! That would be the creme de la creme (flavoured!).
Alyssa, 13 days is awesome. There are always going to be nights when it doesn’t work out, but if we try, we can keep those from being the norm.
I find that on nights that it just isn’t going to happen, if I can set my timer for 5 or 10 minutes, I can still plow through enough to make a difference, and sometimes I end up finishing up even though I thought I wouldn’t.
The absolute best benefit of getting things in order, and having help doing it is that you find out that you can actually still have a life beyond housework. Getting your systems down can take years off of being in the “home rut”(meaning not having time for anything else and resigning yourself to it.)
Of course that depends also on how many kids and other responsibilities you have, your support system etc, but you will always come out ahead if you can get a system (what I call my BOOST circuit) and stick to it.