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Fear – The Invisible Wall and What To Do With It

 

I’ve pondered many times what it is that makes some people successful and some people not so successful – people who work just as hard… sometimes harder… but just can’t seem to achieve the success they have dreamed about, wished for… sweated and cried for.

I had a breakthrough this summer. It was no big surprise but as I applied it to my own life and began to see miraculous strides – be they in baby steps – I knew that I was on to something big never the less.

Have you guessed it yet?

What’s the invisible wall that may be holding you back, even slamming you full force backwards on your fanny when you have been running your hardest in the right direction? Picking yourself up you feel sick inside because you know that YOU will never break through, even though you see lots of others do it every day.

What’s wrong with me, you may even ask.

THE INVISIBLE WALL

There is nothing wrong with you, that’s the irony.

But there is something holding you back, in every decision you make. Every time you take the easy way, possibly without even realizing it.

Enough mystery. You may have guessed.

The answer is fear of course.

Deep inside yourself, popping to the surface at the most inopportune times. Maybe daily. Maybe when you are on the brink of the opportunity you’ve been waiting for.

First you should know, you are not alone. Everyone feels fear. Some people just know better what to do with it.

HOW I DEAL WITH FEAR THESE DAYS

This has become my new mantra and it has literally changed my life and opened opportunities I passed by many times before.

Anytime I feel myself  ‘freezing with fear’, you may know the feeling, I ask myself this question.

“Do I want to feel the fear or do I want the experience?”

Today I choose the second option.

To make it work even better, put it in this context.

When I die, do I want to look back at a lifetime of regret for the things that I didn’t do, the things I let fear steal from me, or do I want to have this experience to look back on. To at the very least be able to say… “I Did It.”

Don’t let fear be a thief, stealing your very life and possibly your business out from under you.

START SMALL

I did. I started very small. Some of you may laugh, I started so small.

I remember the first day well. The day I choose to experience instead of fear.

I took my car to get the tires changed.

I had a flat tire and needed to use the car for a longer trip, so the mini compressor wasn’t going to do the trick.

Normally I would have cancelled the trip and waited for my husband to take it. I kid you not.

The tire place is small. You have to wait in a small office while they do the work.

Make conversation with the secretary and the owner/head mechanic. The kind of thing that makes me uncomfortable. And I even had to find the place (which is commical as well – it’s out in the country, a beautiful drive about 1/2 hour from here, we’re not talking downtown Detroit.

But I asked myself, do I want to let fear get the best of me or do I want the experience of going on the trip, of handling the situation myself like an adult. Or do I want to let fear control me and make me behave like a child?

I choose to behave like a capable adult and never looked back.

DO I STILL FEEL FEAR?

Yes I do. But when I ask myself ‘the question’, it always makes it feel smaller.

Then as I proceed, it fades away and soon is replaced by a feeling of accomlishment and self confidence.

WHAT IF?

One of the greatest holds that fear can have is the ‘what if’ question.

If you have fear, you often have this scene playing in your head.

What if this goes wrong? what if that goes wrong?

The fear mounts and soon becomes a feeling of panic.

And then you know what happens.

You hit the wall, having not even gone anywhere – except in your head.

 The invisible wall that leaves you frozen in your tracks and throws you back were you started from.

But ‘what if’ you turn that question around?

Start asking yourself…

‘What if it goes right?’

Go a step further and feel it. What WILL happen if it goes right? Even a little bit right?

You can even accept the fact that SOME things might go wrong. A lot of things COULD even go wrong.

But what if SOMETHING goes right?

And what if you do the same thing the next time you feel fear?

How many of those right things are going to start adding up in your life?

How many times are you going to feel GREAT instead of afraid and like you have failed – again.

I’ve found that the above things really have made HUGE changes for me, I’ve done things and experienced things lately that I never would have. And yes, most of them have gone amazingly right. Some of my best days have been the result of things I chose to experience rather than pass on because of nagging fear.

ON TO BIGGER THINGS… BIGGER FEARS

It’s the natural progression that you will find yourself amazed with as well. But as I push myself to face bigger challenges, I still find myself becoming overwhelmed, I find it harder to resist the urge to give in to the fear.

But I’ve found myself with a stronger desire to move forward because now it seems possible.

Brian Tracy says it best…

You probably already know that the most successful people have incredible levels of self-confidence.

They’ve accomplished great levels of success and happiness in their lives and seem to be unstoppable in everything they do.

I can see that clearly, so I’ve made it a priority in my life.

I see it as a scale. On one side is fear, on the other self confidence and strength.

As you take away the fear, the strength grows stronger and then anything is possible.

Brian Tracy is probably my favourite speaker. I have many of his programs and they are the ones that I listen to over and over.

So I decided to go ahead and order his program “The Science of Self Confidence Training Kit” which deals very much with how to overcome fear in your life so that you can make the decisions that will make you feel like you are living, rather than hiding and waiting for the ‘safe’ things to come to you (which are few and far between).

It’s a comprehensive package of 6 CD’s, shipped to you so that you don’t have to download anything and can just grab a disk to take with you.

And of course it comes with bonuses, Brian’s products almost always do.

Here they are…

When you buy The Science of Self-Confidence training kit, you’ll receive 3 special surprise bonuses worth $127.70+ absolutely FREE.

You’ll Receive:

  • The Science of Positive Focus DVD
  • Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life Audio CD
  • Science of Self-Confidence PDF Workbook
  • Unshakeable, Rock-Solid Self-Confidence!

Even if you decide to return the program, you can still keep your value-packed bonuses as my personal gift to you. That’s right; it’s yours to keep—forever.

And with my 365 day Guarantee…You won’t be obligated in any way.

That’s right! Take one full year to examine my program and use all the proven confidence building techniques. Imagine your life taking off for the better as your self-confidence soars. Feel the power as you become Unstoppable!

Please Read:

I paid for my own copy because I truly see the value in it as a foundational education that I will be able to use for the many challenges in almost anything I do – business or personal.

 I want you to know that I will receive a commision from Brian if you buy from my link. I’d like to thank you upfront, your purchase is directly helping me to spend time sharing with you here instead of schlepping donuts at our new Tim Hortons in town (seriously) and also let you know that should you have any questions or like to discuss it, you can leave a comment here and I would be thrilled to discuss it with you.

Don’t let fear pull you down another day. Whether we like it or not, our days are limited, lets pull forward starting today.You have an entire year to give it a shot, but I would say try to make changes inside of yourself the first week – the first day – and you will see the true power of it.

4 Responses to “Fear – The Invisible Wall and What To Do With It”

  1. Jan – I can SO relate to this! I realized this year that fear had been a big part of my life for far too long.

    And I completely understand your fear about the tire thing; I am the same way. I actually accepted an invitation to a breakfast networking event in downtown Chicago next week even though it terrifies me to make the trip.

    I’m going to check out Brian’s product. Thanks for sharing this.

    • Jan Ferrante says:

      Hi Brenda, downtown Chicago! You will feel so fantastic when you have had that experience. Imagine the elation on the drive home! Let us know how you deal with the process and how you do feel when you have achieved this if you would like, I’d love to hear.

      I have to admit, driving on 4 lane highways are one of my big major fears, so much so that I’ve missed out on many things because I won’t drive to the city.

      It’s something I need to work on, maybe I can start by taking trips to busier highways and working my way up. (it’s not that I can’t drive, it’s just a phobia of heavy, high speed traffic and split second decisions and letting my imagination run wild :0)

      I hear that gps systems can be a huge help with this kind of thing as well and practising your route beforehand when you have lots of time.

      I can’t wait for Brian’s cd’s to get here, I am counting the days!

  2. Jan Ferrante says:

    I was just thinking, fear – or facing it down – can get us into some pretty funny situations. Do you have one to share? I’m sure that we would all love to hear about it!

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