Learning to Let Go

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WANT TO HOLD ON

I've been having a good time out and about lately visiting my sister. She lives about 1 1/2 hours away so I don't get there often enough.

The first time I went we decided to do some work in her bedroom so that she would have some space to do her Fit Yummy Mommy workouts.

We did a great job (I should have got some pictures! Darn!) but when we were finished, it still seemed too heavy for a smaller room.

She's moved fairly often lately, both of her recent houses have had a very roomy and beautiful bedroom space for her to kick back – she's a working single mom of 5 kids/young adults and needs the decompression area IMHO.

SO I HAD AN IDEA!

A simply brilliant idea!

Part of the problem was that she had a king size bed overpowering the room – it was taking up valuable real estate – and seriously – she isn't that big!

My husband and I had been considering getting a larger bed for quite some time, we have been using my grandmother's antique spindle bed – beautiful, full of sentiment but not practical as it is a tad on the small size – and I could use a change.

spindle bed + snoopy

It's not his bed, really!

We offered a new mattress (which we got on sale!) since it was time for a new one and hers is almost new – it worked out perfectly.

WITH A TWIST

Our daughter also needed a new bed. I wasn't 100% sure that I really needed such a large bed – my household theme is clear spaces and I need workout room in my bedroom too – so you guessed it – we decided to give it to her and shop for a new one for ourselves instead.

She of course, LOVES it. 

BUT…

That's not the end of the story. This is where it really begins.

It occurred to me that she may as well take the chair and table that matched the theme of the bed, she loves to read like me and had mentioned wanting to put a chair in one corner.

They were also our grandparents family furniture. There is no one else I would have given it to other than my immediate family, so this was a great burden off and a treasured new belonging for her.

I also had a chair in my office that was our grandfather's chair, the one he sat in in their living room. Every time I sit in it I think of him. That room is quite small and I had been considering moving it for some time – so I took a deep breath and asked her if she wanted them both.

She said sure, she could use them and we got ready to move them.

BUT…

I found myself floundering. Did I really want to get rid of both chairs? I found that wasn't really the question. I was attached to them. I liked them. Actually, I LOVED them.

Even though I barely ever sat in them. 

So it was coming down to the nitty gritty.

If I truly wanted to create some space in my home, I was at the point of removing things that I was attached to.

Could I do it?

THE ANSWER IS YES

I had some moments of heart palpitations and wondering if I had made the wrong move, but in the end I knew that they were perfect for her (and they were) and that I would be free to create a more functional and freeing space for myself as well.

And I did.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

Do you find yourself keeping things that bind you because you are bound to the thing?

Can you find a new way to deal with it?

Is there someone that can use it better than you can?

Someone that would love it too?

I did get lucky that it was my sister who also shared my grandparents so they meant the same to her as they did to me – but what about the other stuff?

The stuff that you are keeping just because you can't let go.

The stuff that is keeping you in clutter and not enough room to live the way you want to – with clear spaces and new horizons. Have another look at it and consider another home for it. A better home.

How DO you let go…

WHEN YOU JUST WANT TO HOLD ON

Ask yourself this question.

How much is clear space worth?

My answer?

Clear space creates more room for me. Room to think, room to move, room to breathe.

Room to live. 

Less to look after, less to manage, less to think about.

How much is clear space worth? 

Priceless. 

Another big plus…

Clearing space is a good way to build your letting go muscles in all areas of your life.

You can ask yourself these questions when you want to let go of anything but just keep holding on.

  • What is the new clear space in your life worth to you?
  • How does it free you?
  • What kind of new space will it create?
  • What are the possibilities? 

WHAT STAYS? 

I'm not saying clear your house of everything. Keep what you love if you have room for it and if it is serving you well.

It's the stuff you love that's sitting in the corner or closet collecting dust that someone else can use better that you may want to see in a new light – at somebody else's house :0) 

I am going to be posting some pictures in part two that I took during the process of tearing down and rebuilding my office and bedroom when the bed and chairs were gone. It didn't get done by itself. Imagine that!

I had a weekend of total KAOS, but in the end, I was a very happy camper. 

Stay tuned as I journey towards freedom…

About the Author

Jan Ferrante

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