The Queen of KAOS @Home

Deborah From Ohio writes: Yes, our budget and debt are completely out of control, but I need some suggestions for a manageable way to open, record, and keep bills in place. My husband and I are both ADHD, so complex or time-consuming is not a good option.

Also, we have private music students in our home every day, so posted on the fridge calendar is not a good plan, either. It has been suggested to me to add a financial tab to the Household Planner, but we leave that available to babysitters and our kids, and that doesn’t really help much with the logistics of the thing. A system has to be out of sight for visitors and clients, sustainable for rather flighty personalities, and certainly EFFECTIVE!

Can you help? This is an area that has always eluded me, but 10 years of marriage, 5 kids, a home studio and a mortgage later, I am just beyond overwhelmed. Please, oh, please, tell me there’s a way!

Jill Responds: Some of the suggestions I am going to give you may take time to accomplish and others you can maybe do right away.

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by Maria GraciaTake a look at your To Do List. If you had to categorize each task or project into work or fun, in which direction would the scale tip? For most people, To Do Lists contain work affiliated activities–whether they are business related or household chore related.When you’re making your To Do List, don’t only include those items that you have to do. Rather, scatter some things that you want to do. Maybe you would like to write a letter to someone you haven’t been in contact with. Put it on your To Do List.

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Even though you may be busy doing last minute things, tonight, and of course Christmas Eve are the perfect times to create a yearly ritual with your family.

How about getting out a favourite game and having an annual game night on the night before the night before Christmas?

We also love to have a family movie night. The tree lights are on, the decorations are nice and there is a certain peace in the house at this time of year.

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This is a no brainer, but if your tree isn’t up, or your decorating still needs decorating, put all the other “stuff” aside, and get to it.

I personally don’t like getting things out too early, I enjoy doing it when it is officially “Christmas Season”.

I had wanted to get our tree decorated mid week but due to some unforseen obstacles, such as no tree stand we just did it last night.

But it was fun and I enjoyed the Christmassy feel. We will leave it up a bit longer over the holidays which is nice because everyone is home and “on holidays” to enjoy it anyway.

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So What’s the point, you ask? What can I do about it?

• Don’t buy in! Don’t listen. Reduce your exposure to a runaway stream of information. Don’t just rock along in auto pilot. Think about what you’re doing.
• Any information going through your mind that isn’t relevant to your life merely causes mental clutter which causes stress. If you’re stressed, chances are you have this problem.
• Turn off the news! You don’t need to know every detail of what is going on in the world. I have found that not following the news has greatly reduced the stress in my life. Yes, it is sad when a child drowns half a continent away, but unless I know the child or his family or unless it is reasonable to think the same will happen to my child, why do I need to know? It is just a cause for needless stress. It is important to be informed before you vote, but you can easily do some intentional research about the candidates shortly before an election rather than follow the daily barrage of news coverage.“What if something happens that I really need to know about?” You will always know people who will tell you things you absolutely need to know. On September 11th, my brother in law called to tell me to watch the news. Keep in contact with your neighbors. If something happens in your neighborhood, they will tell you. Then, if you want to know the details, go to the most reliable source of news you can find and seek out only that story.
• Don’t watch so much television. This is important especially if you watch a lot of high stress television. Police crime dramas, abrasive TV talk shows and “He Said, She Said” reality shows will raise your stress levels. Too much of any kind of television time bleeds away hours of your life that you may later wish you still had.

• When you feel the urge to buy something, stop and ask yourself if you’re being brainwashed or if you really need that thing you want to buy. Chances are if you have to have it RIGHT NOW, it’s an impulse buy. Put it off for a while. Weigh the value. I have found that if I delay a purchase, I almost always realize that I don’t need or really want it.
• When someone tells you something that seems important, don’t just believe it, especially if the information causes you anxiety or has some impact on your belief system in general. If it is important, verify the information with a reliable source. I wish I had done this more in college, when I for a time believed unquestioningly the lies that some professors told me, even while they encouraged me to challenge beliefs for which I actually had solid evidence.
• Don’t “surf” the Internet because you’re bored. When you go to the Internet, make sure you have a purpose: You want information on a particular topic or you want to play a game or buy a song that gives you encouragement. If you just surf, though, you are just finding information to clutter your brain which will compound your stress.
• When too much information causes stress, it is expensive. Stressed people usually smoke, eat too much, develop various addictions or simply seek medical attention that they may not have otherwise needed. All these things cost money that stress free people don’t feel compelled to spend.
• When too much information causes stress, it adversely affects your health. Spending the majority of your time under a high degree of stress leads to all kinds of medical problems that make life unpleasant and will probably lead to an early death.

• Is it really that important to be “plugged in”?

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by Maria Gracia The clothes closet is one of the least respected areas in the house. It’s often stuffed from floor to ceiling with clothing, briefcases, purses and shoes. Valuable clothing rod space has been taken over by vast armies of mis-matched hangers. Books and magazines have managed to somehow sprout out of nowhere. Bed linens are mixed in with towels, umbrellas and shoes. You can barely see the floor. Before you know it, your closet has become clutter central!Here’s some friendly advice. Heed the old saying, “Less is more.” You’ll save an enormous amount of time, money and stress by thinning out your huge wardrobe.

1. GET THE PROPER SUPPLIES. Buy a starter set of 30 hangers, or 60 if the closet is shared by two people. Get the sturdy, plastic ones. They’re inexpensive and can be obtained at a homegoods store. Buy all one color for uniformity (or if you’re sharing closet space with someone, get one color for yourself, and another color for the person you’re sharing space with.)While you’re at the store, pick up a few sturdy skirt and pants hangers. Vertical skirt hangers with clips that hold 5 to 6 skirts on one hanger are a great choice. In addition, pick up an expandable shoe rack and a tie rack if you wear ties.

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by Maria GraciaWhoever thought you’d be able to get organized in just 10 minutes?! Here are a few simple ideas.

1. 10 MINUTE CHORE BOX: Rather than spending hours organizing, and doing it all yourself, create a 10 minute Chore Box for yourself–and one for each family member, if applicable.Each person’s box would contain specific chores or tasks that need to be completed. The chores are written on slips of paper, and take a maximum of 10 minutes each to accomplish.

   You can gear the tasks towards the person’s abilities (e.g. while older kids can help out with vacuuming, a 3 year old may instead be responsible for putting away his/her toys.)

   Each day, as a chore is completed, that slip of paper is placed in a holding envelope until the Chore Box is empty. Then, when empty, the boxes are refilled, and the system starts over again. This also works well at the office!

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TV ads are, as a whole louder than ever, often using fast paced tense music to make you feel like there is an urgent reason you need to watch this commercial. Even though there are laws designed to prevent television broadcasters from playing commercials louder than shows, commercial producers know how to mix the audio in such a way that the commercial sounds louder without appearing louder to the broadcast equipment. Have you ever noticed that many commercials have the sound of a telephone near the beginning, even if a phone doesn’t play any part in the “story” of the ad? That’s because production companies know that the sound of a phone ringing will cause most people to unconsciously respond with urgency to the ringing of a telephone.

Even magazines are in business to sell you advertising. Oh I’m not talking about the tabloids with “too good to be true” advertising that is so obvious to most of us. I’m talking about the magazine where you read a story about some new gizmo that the “reviewer” in the magazine seems to think is the greatest thing out there. Many of the magazine articles that appear to be written by impartial reporters singing the graces of various products are actually advertisements, commissioned by the companies that sell those products, written by advertising agencies and provided to the magazines as “stories” designed to make you think that some regular Joe out there liked the product so much he just had to recommend it to you.

If you still haven’t heard enough, think about the news. When you watch, listen to or read the news, do you ever ask yourself whether or not the information that you are getting is true? Most people never question the news. If you’re in your mid 30s like I am, you have probably heard that news is impartial, that reporters are supposed to report the news without interjecting their own opinions. That’s what the editorial pages are for, right? Though this would be a great way for the news to work, it is not the reality.

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This is such a great thing to focus on. Many of us including me spend our days running as fast as we can to improve this and improve that, always trying to get ahead and it turns out that we are good to go right now, where we are.

The subtle difference in the frame of mind is world altering.

Not to say we can’t improve, or work for it, but we don’t need the pressure of thinking we must improve to be “something” or “better”, the mere act of taking the actions that make us ourselves is enough if we can have satisfaction in them. (more…)

Creating Christmas family traditions is something that I haven’t done enough of over the years.

This year I am making a point of it!

But in order to really enjoy it, as usual, there are always the basics to take care of, some of them can be Christmas traditions in themselves.

Or you Christmas Daily To Do list can be it’s own Christmas tradition, pull it out around Dec 1. every year.

Here is my list of daily to do’s this year, which done every day will help to make Christmas especially nice this year, and keep you in the best shape so you will feel incredible too.

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