The Queen of KAOS @Home

So What’s the point, you ask? What can I do about it?

• Don’t buy in! Don’t listen. Reduce your exposure to a runaway stream of information. Don’t just rock along in auto pilot. Think about what you’re doing.
• Any information going through your mind that isn’t relevant to your life merely causes mental clutter which causes stress. If you’re stressed, chances are you have this problem.
• Turn off the news! You don’t need to know every detail of what is going on in the world. I have found that not following the news has greatly reduced the stress in my life. Yes, it is sad when a child drowns half a continent away, but unless I know the child or his family or unless it is reasonable to think the same will happen to my child, why do I need to know? It is just a cause for needless stress. It is important to be informed before you vote, but you can easily do some intentional research about the candidates shortly before an election rather than follow the daily barrage of news coverage.“What if something happens that I really need to know about?” You will always know people who will tell you things you absolutely need to know. On September 11th, my brother in law called to tell me to watch the news. Keep in contact with your neighbors. If something happens in your neighborhood, they will tell you. Then, if you want to know the details, go to the most reliable source of news you can find and seek out only that story.
• Don’t watch so much television. This is important especially if you watch a lot of high stress television. Police crime dramas, abrasive TV talk shows and “He Said, She Said” reality shows will raise your stress levels. Too much of any kind of television time bleeds away hours of your life that you may later wish you still had.

• When you feel the urge to buy something, stop and ask yourself if you’re being brainwashed or if you really need that thing you want to buy. Chances are if you have to have it RIGHT NOW, it’s an impulse buy. Put it off for a while. Weigh the value. I have found that if I delay a purchase, I almost always realize that I don’t need or really want it.
• When someone tells you something that seems important, don’t just believe it, especially if the information causes you anxiety or has some impact on your belief system in general. If it is important, verify the information with a reliable source. I wish I had done this more in college, when I for a time believed unquestioningly the lies that some professors told me, even while they encouraged me to challenge beliefs for which I actually had solid evidence.
• Don’t “surf” the Internet because you’re bored. When you go to the Internet, make sure you have a purpose: You want information on a particular topic or you want to play a game or buy a song that gives you encouragement. If you just surf, though, you are just finding information to clutter your brain which will compound your stress.
• When too much information causes stress, it is expensive. Stressed people usually smoke, eat too much, develop various addictions or simply seek medical attention that they may not have otherwise needed. All these things cost money that stress free people don’t feel compelled to spend.
• When too much information causes stress, it adversely affects your health. Spending the majority of your time under a high degree of stress leads to all kinds of medical problems that make life unpleasant and will probably lead to an early death.

• Is it really that important to be “plugged in”?

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TV ads are, as a whole louder than ever, often using fast paced tense music to make you feel like there is an urgent reason you need to watch this commercial. Even though there are laws designed to prevent television broadcasters from playing commercials louder than shows, commercial producers know how to mix the audio in such a way that the commercial sounds louder without appearing louder to the broadcast equipment. Have you ever noticed that many commercials have the sound of a telephone near the beginning, even if a phone doesn’t play any part in the “story” of the ad? That’s because production companies know that the sound of a phone ringing will cause most people to unconsciously respond with urgency to the ringing of a telephone.

Even magazines are in business to sell you advertising. Oh I’m not talking about the tabloids with “too good to be true” advertising that is so obvious to most of us. I’m talking about the magazine where you read a story about some new gizmo that the “reviewer” in the magazine seems to think is the greatest thing out there. Many of the magazine articles that appear to be written by impartial reporters singing the graces of various products are actually advertisements, commissioned by the companies that sell those products, written by advertising agencies and provided to the magazines as “stories” designed to make you think that some regular Joe out there liked the product so much he just had to recommend it to you.

If you still haven’t heard enough, think about the news. When you watch, listen to or read the news, do you ever ask yourself whether or not the information that you are getting is true? Most people never question the news. If you’re in your mid 30s like I am, you have probably heard that news is impartial, that reporters are supposed to report the news without interjecting their own opinions. That’s what the editorial pages are for, right? Though this would be a great way for the news to work, it is not the reality.

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Did you know you need a new cell phone? Did you know your car is trash? Did you know you’re not pretty enough, you’re overweight, you wear outdated clothes, you need to eat healthier and you need two large pizzas? If you didn’t know that, brace yourself because that’s just the beginning of your troubles — or so say the messages bombarding virtually every one of us every day.

Do you realize how much advertising you are subjected to each day? There are ads on television, ads on the radio, ads on the Internet, ads in the paper, in magazines, along the side of the road and on other vehicles. There are ads in virtually every business you walk into each day and there are ads all over your house. The next time you go to Wal-Mart, pause at the front door and take a careful inventory of all the advertising you are exposed to in that one location. There are hundreds, possibly thousands of print ads competing for your attention there. Wal-Mart radio plays a constant barrage of advertising trying to influence you to buy something. Many of the items available for purchase practically cry out to you to purchase them through advertising on the packaging. Even if you are the queen of frugality, you cannot help but be influenced by this daily barrage of advertising.

What many people don’t know is that the basic purpose of advertising is to persuade you to buy something you didn’t know you needed before you saw the ad. The message isn’t usually, “Hey, if you have a few extra dollars, you might enjoy this product.” The typical advertising message you hear really says something more like “Even though you never needed this product before, your friends and family will reject you, you will encounter daily torment, you will discover that you have no value as a human being and that you will probably die if you don’t buy this product right away!”

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In response to a recent Living on a Dime story about budgeting, Yvonne writes: My problem is not setting up a budget but sticking to a budget. Gas costs what it costs. Groceries - It is expensive to eat healthy. Do you have suggestions for how to live on a budget? We don’t do a lot of things but we seem to overspend our budget each month. And I know there is no way my husband is going to keep track of every penny he spends. Please help!

Tawra: This is a question that I receive frequently. Many people feel that the thought of budgeting is too daunting. My first thought is that if you set up a budget and can’t stick to it, either your budget, your spending or both are not realistic.

One thing I should mention up front is that there are several reasons why you might make a budget and how you handle your budget depends largely on why you have one. Here are the main two groups:

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Jeff from Maryland writes: My wife and I would like to use some kind of simple budget program on the computer. Can you give any suggestions or what you use? Thanks for your help.

Tawra: Mike and I use a paper budgeting system, listing all of our income and expenses. We don’t recommend using complex computer programs, like those that require you to enter every receipt for every purchase, though a simple spreadsheet works well. If you make things too complex, you will get frustrated with it and quit.

Here is a recent example of our budget. We rarely have to look at it, since we pretty much have it memorized. The budget just gives a guideline for spending. We tend to re-make the budget whenever we have a significant change in our income so we can determine what we need to cut or where we’d like the surplus to go. If you have an increase in income and don’t budget it, you will find that the money will get spent even if you don’t know where it goes, so it is best to decide where you want it and budget accordingly.

For our readers, we have created a simple version of our form that you can download and use. We have three versions available (below). If you prefer to have the form perform the calculations and you have a program that can use Excel files, the Excel Budget form below will calculate your income and expenses and also project your budget surplus or shortfall.

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They say that it is impossible for a family to live on one income. They say you need a bigger house for the tax deduction. They say schools need to budget for palm pilots for students, even though they can’t afford to pay the teachers. They say that you need a compact car because we’re going to run out of gas. They say you need a big SUV so you’ll be safe on the road. They say you need to be a vegetarian or you’ll die. They say you should eat a lot of meat so you’ll lose weight or you’ll die.

Over the centuries human beings have been compared to sheep over and over again. I never cease to be amazed at how true that is. If one sheep decides to head down a road that goes right over a cliff, they all follow. Even in history when people march and demand the right to be individuals they still always seem to dress and act alike. Remember the “flower children” of the 60’s. Even with their “free to be me” attitude, they were horrified if a man walked in with a suit and tie since it was different from what they would wear.

If children are doing drugs, drinking or just wearing strange outfits, they justify it because “everyone is doing it”. So often, the parent’s response is “If everyone jumps off a cliff that doesn’t mean you should do it, too.” Is that the story we tell them with our actions? Kids are very shrewd and have no tolerance for hypocrisy. We hurt our families and ourselves if we blindly follow the crowd. “They” (I still haven’t figured out who “they” are but I don’t think I like “them” or “their” ideas.) have set a standard of living that we must live by– no matter what the cost. (more…)

by Tawra Kellam

When people ask me about getting out of debt, they often ask “Doesn’t it take quite a bit more time to be frugal?” Of course, doing work yourself does mean you spend more time doing certain things, but it also means that you will spend a lot less time and money working to pay someone else to do it. Many people work more hours to pay someone else to do a job than it would take them to do it themselves. Of course, if you make a million dollars a year and have no manual dexterity, this article is not for you.

Here are some examples based on my own experience with a family of 4. Because your household income is probably not the same as mine, some things that make sense for me will not make sense for you. I suggest that you read my examples and consider your actual costs.

Example #1: Buying clothes- One great way to save on clothes is to go to garage sales. This seems very time consuming to many people, but it really isn’t. In the summer, I usually spend 3-4 hours every 2 weeks (May - September) going to garage sales. That may seem like a lot, but if you compare that to how much time the average person spends shopping at the mall, it really isn’t any longer.

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I think that this might be one of my favourite articles to date. (I probably resemble the dog when I try burying my head in the sand too!)

As someone struggling with credit card debt, it seems one crisis is over and the next starts with no end, I see a lot of truth in this article, and some amazing, simple to use suggestions.

If you are struggling with debt and finances, don’t skim this article, have a good read and take some notes on ACTions that you can do right now to take a step in the right direction.

I am!

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These days debt seems to come creeping from every direction.

Part of it is because it has become more socially acceptable to be in debt and use credit like cash, part of it is the rising costs, it has become ridiculously expensive to put gas in your car and cover basic needs such as dental, health, eye care and almost any thing requiring a skilled service.

Very often the solution takes some thinking instead of immediate action. Before whipping out your credit card, consider your options.

 When Grown Childrens’ Financial Emergencies Cause Financial Strain - Tawra Kellam

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These days in America, it seems that everyone is so busy that preparing school lunches is liable to push a typical mom right over the edge. When you have to choose between making school lunches or spending that extra 15 minutes in bed, it seems like buying ready made lunches at the store is a no-brainer, but your budget doesn’t agree.

The average mom packs $2.00 worth of pre-packaged goodies into each lunch she sends to school with her kids. (That works out to $720 for 2 kids.) What mother hasn’t wondered if those lunches are even getting eaten?

Try these tips for things you can do in 30 minutes or less on the weekend to make those school lunches a snap!

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